Thursday, February 4, 2010


I've been away for about a week because I have just been busyy yay. I finally acquired a sewing machine on Sunday, so that's taken up a great deal of time. I've made quite a handful of things (pictures soon of course) and it's been really really fun. I sewed a couple pillows with one in seventh/eighth? grade, but I didn't really remember. Of course, then I didn't have to do anything myself, it was just like, oh, here is the machine already ready, get to it. I actually had to learn how to do everything myself this time around.

Tomorrow I will post about what I have made. I want to make clothes really bad. I think I should wait awhile though, until I am a little better at this. I just really want to get to the store to buy some fabric/thread etc.

...Movie Reviews...

Shrooms was stupid, as was to be expected. It had a run-of-the-mill ending, and was just really disappointing. I have decided that I do not like Paddy Breathnach. This is the second film of his that I watched (the first being Freakdog), and blahh. Typical typical horror movie crap. I want to write my own movie that has a different ending, an ending other than
1. The protagonist has been the antagonist all along.
2. The main character goes psycho and ends up in a mental hospital.
3. The as-stupid-as-you-get girl transforms into the opposite of her previously weak, dumb and cowardly self and survives.
4. A huge animal slaughters mostly everyone, the handful that is left kill it with an elaborate plan, then it is miraculously alive.

The Invention of Lying was also really dumb. I was so excited because of my love for Ricky Gervais, but there were only a few funny moments. The trailer was totally misleading. By the way, Jennifer Garner/Ricky is just weird. I really didn't like it at all. I thought, based on the preview, that everyone had to tell the truth. NOT blurt out every single thought in their heads. Every character being totally rude to Ricky and basically everyone else got old really fast. And also, Ricky was the only character that didn't follow the blurting thing. I mean, at least make it consistently stupid, if you don't it's like honesty=bullying. Basically this movie just tears down the idea of truth, (every thing's better if you LIE). I was especially bothered by a few scenes. Every morning Ricky encounters a depressed kid in an elevator who tells him about his suicide plans, and Ricky just shrugs it off. Then, he gets the ability to lie, and suddenly decides to tell the kid that people care about him. NICE. So that's a lie? What a horrible thing to depict.

I re watched Seven Pounds today with Rachel. Before we started watching it I remembered the basic plot but then during the first scene it all came flooding back and I thought I was going to burst into tears. Of course, watching it the first time around that first couple of minutes seems totally harsh, but once you know what is going on... I dunno, it was just heartbreakingly sad. Will Smith is awesome in pretty much everything he is in, but I love how his character seems different than what's typical for him.

Rachel hated it, just like I thought.

I hate school. Every single night I tell myself that I need to go to bed early, but I never make it. I dunno what the ideal time would be. If I actually made myself go to bed, I don't think I would fall asleep. I'm not tired when I go to bed as it is. Then morning comes, and BOOM I am so tired. I describe my sleepy eyes as "owl eyes" because they just feel so huge on my face, but everyone acts as if they don't know what I am talking about/I am stupid.

During the summer I read a book called Let's Go Play at the Adams'. It was written in the seventies by Mendel Johnson. It has not left me alone since. I was really disturbed by it, which is odd for me. My constant thought was THEY. GOT. AWAY. WITH. IT. I drove myself crazy thinking about it. I was sobbing as I read the ending, that's how emotional it was. But then again, with the way it was written, I think the thing that scared me the most about it was how brutally honest, clear cut, and horrific. It was just empty in a way, like "this is what happened, and this was the result of that event, the end". It's just evilevilevil, and not subtle in any way.

Right after I read it a googled it and I found out that some guy had written a sequel (the original author is dead). I sent an email to be able to read it, hoping that if I read it I could forget the ending to the actual novel. I didn't get any response. Yesterday, though, an email was in my inbox with a link to a brand new website that the book is published on. I've read it already. It was actually really, really good. Surprisingly so.

Oh well. I am tired of doing this now, so...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

You Know It's Going To Be A Good Day When You Wake Up Bawling

My mom hates this. The wall by my bed is all scratched up (did I do it in my sleep??) so I sketched on a little crappy owl to detract a little from all the white marks in the magenta paint.

It's really nice not having to hunt for my phone when I want the time.

I still have a pile of movies on the T.V. stand. I dunno why, but I request things, can't wait for them, and then I don't want to watch them after I finally get them. I've only watched a handful. I still have Season 1 of Lost, James and the Giant Peach, Jekyll + Hyde, Rachel Getting Married, 24 Hour Party People, Shrooms.. and I can't think of what else.
I don't really like watching "scary" movies by myself... not because I get scared, but because they aren't as fun. That is inconvenient, because my mother won't ever watch anything unless she decides to. I mean, she'll be sitting in her chair in front of the T.V., I'll ask her, and she'll say something like, "Oh, I'm falling asleep,", "Maybe later", or something of the sort. Then she'll sit there watching America's Funniest Videos for several hours.

Tuesday was really nice. I went to work with my mom again, but this time I wasn't just observing a kindergarten class. I got to help them each individually with their counting and the alphabet.
It was really interesting to see the differences in the teachers and in the students themselves. They were all over the board in terms of what they knew. For example, I had to show them a letter and they had to tell me what the letter was, the sound it made, and a word that started with that letter.
One kid was excellent. I was really surprised at his vocabulary. He had a word for every single letter, and they were words like dinosaur, quilt, etc.
On the other hand, one of the girls couldn't tell me anything, and she volunteered "peanut" for about ten different letters. I helped her as much as I could, having her repeat words I chose for each one. She asked me what "umbrella" meant.
Anyway, I really loved it. This second teacher, too, thought that after a day with her I wouldn't want to teach anymore. I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm going to back out on this.

We went to Goodwill on Monday, and my mom bought toys as usual. I was excited to see that E.T. was in a plastic bag with a bunch of little plastic McDonald's toys. It wasn't until we got home that I discovered he was missing a hand.


I'm losing it, I think. I am never tired when I go to bed (I have been trying to force myself at midnight), but then when I wake up to get ready for school I feel exhausted. I usually sleep for a few minutes on the bus ride, but then the really cold walk into school usually serves to wake me the rest of the way.

But then... my classes are blahh. I managed to stay awake for awhile during my first class, Psychology, but my professor is just awful. Both of my new ones are boring boring boring. My Mythology class would be interesting, but the guy's voice is just really monotonous even though it is English.


My moods have been really crazy lately. I'm stressed out about school in the worst way, the kind where you just block out the crap and hope it goes away. I don't need to say that it doesn't. Deadlines keep getting closer and closer, and every time I get a burst of inspiration I'm discouraged. I feel like no one knows me, and then I think about my life compared to everyone else's... I dunno. I feel terribly inadequate all the time. I dunno. I dunno.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The second day of school wasn't any better. It's just dreadful now, and I dunno why. I'm whiny, so that's it.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Wednesday, the first day of school, was completely awful. I don't like any of my classes. I thought I would enjoy my Psychology class, but no. The professor seems lost, and she didn't really make sense. She repeated herself, but it was like she would change one thing to make it seem like she was telling us something different all together.

I'm holding out for my American Literature class to be the best. I had the same professor last semester, and he was always good for a million laughs. Most were unintentional, which are the best.

My Mythology professor is English, and that's the best thing about him, or maybe even the entire class. He talks really slow. Despite that, though, I think that this will turn out to be the second most interesting.

A few months ago Rachel came over and she had this huge bag that she had made out of a sweatshirt. I really liked it, so yesterday I took one of my mom's old nightshirts and started to make one of my own. All went fine and I was enjoying myself, then it was terrible. I snapped my favorite needle, I spilled my cup of water, and I sliced open my thumb with scissors when I was adding holes for a shoelace in the opening. Now the shirt's 75% finished in a heap on my bedroom floor.
Yesterday we ran to Target to get some Spackle, then Rachel went to go see her sister's school play. I dunno, I was just so whiny yesterday. I felt terrible, like all heavy and blahhh.

I finally watched A Clockwork Orange. It was.. different. I didn't really know the entire plot when I first started to watch it, so I was sort of surprised by the moral issues portrayed. It was stupid of me, I know, but I didn't expect any.

It really was an interesting movie. Drawing from it, one could take on the popular opinion that evil/violence is a product of environment. For example, Alex's actions were looked down upon, but lighter forms were all around him in the form of art. During his prison stint, he was "rehabilitated", and that was questionable as well. Alex wasn't so much cured as he was robbed of free will. So, I guess you could say that the main question of the film was "Which is more inhumane, the conditioning or the violence?"

No matter what, though, I think that it would be interesting to read the book. People, my parents included, have said that this is an inappropriate film, but I know that the actual novel would be much, much worse. That's how it always is. (Especially with Chuck Palahniuk adaptations).

I'm just glad I finally watched it.

I think my next "project" is to watch all the movies by the Coen brothers.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010


I love this picture.

Clock Ticking

Seriously, who would pay thirty dollars for these?

I am really surprised that the ticking of my new clock hasn't driven me insane. I only noticed it last night because someone called me at three in the morning, and I wasn't really aware.. then I heard it and it kinda woke me up the rest of the way...

But anyway. I am really sad, sort of, because tomorrow is my last day of freedom. And you could barely call it that. I'm going to church to help Mommo, so I have to get up early. Don't get me wrong, I love going, so I guess it's the school worry that's taken hold of me.

Okay, some really quick movie reviews:
I went to go see The Book of Eli today. I pretty much had no idea what it was about, but I thought it was really good. I thought I was going to cry at the end. One part of it was really surprising, which was awesome. I love those post-apocalyptic movies, dunno why. I always wonder what I would do if stuff like that ever happened.

Denzel Washington was great as usual. I didn't know that Gary (my)Oldman was in it, so that was a pleasant surprise. =)

Red Mist/Freakdog was pretty much a bust. Andrew-Lee was conscious for about ten minutes, and he was kind of a creep. Arielle Kebbel was retarded, and the movie had the typical mental institution ending. Why is that used so much?

I did like Dead Fish, though. It was really weird, and weird is kinda my thing. Andrew-Lee had a big part in it, and it was odd to see him star opposite Gary (my)Oldman. Billy Zane was really funny. Dunno, the whole film was wacky. I'm really glad I watched it today; I almost passed it over for Caffeine.

Woot woot. A partial solution to my messy closet.

I'm not really sure I like the whole "pointy toe" thing. These shoes remind me of Emma Watson whenever I look at them. I hate feet.
They made their debut at my cousin's bowling birthday party, which was good, because they came off right away. I wanted to take my bowling shoes home.

Bowling was really fun. I'm not sure what would be considered a good score, but I am certain that it's not what any of us received.

You know what I am mad about? The remake of Death at a Funeral. It'd be a different story if that movie wasn't available here or something like that. But no, it's on Showtime all the time and so easily accessible... a remake makes no sense. I also think that it's weird that Peter Dinklage is playing the same character. I love him, but wouldn't that be sort of monotonous?

I started reading a book yesterday called "When You Are Engulfed in Flames". It's by David Sedaris. Recently, I've really enjoyed reading essays and memoirs, which is new for me. I usually just read fiction. A change is nice, though. I also got a book that is a collection of stories about war. I haven't started reading it yet, but for some reason it's in the bag that I carry around with me everywhere. My dad was shocked when he saw it, but then he had to be insulting/ his idea of funny, by saying that I was finally going to read something good. Oh well.

I really want a pop tarts shirt. It'd be cool, even though I don't eat pop tarts anymore. It'd be like reminiscing, shirty style.

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